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My name is Diane T. I go by "artistgirl" in ITR. My clean and sober date is January 20th, 1990.
As soon as I came in, all those years ago, I immersed myself into this new way of living. Living in the Oxford House for over two years, going to face to face meetings daily, doing service etc. etc. became my life. The bar life with drugs and drinking was over. I had surrendered completely. I knew that there needed to be a change. I wasn't getting any younger, I was 30 almost 31, the 80's were over and I was done.
A lot has happened since then. My Dad got cancer and died in '92, I went back to school for another Master's, I got Ovarian Cancer in '99 (stage 3-4), I have lost jobs, relationships, gained jobs and relationships.in general, life has happened big time. Recovery has taught me that I can pretty much get through anything a day at a time.
In 2011, I was having difficulty at work. My principal, at the time, (I am an educator) was extremely difficult on me. My program was at a bare minimum. My commute was long and with long days created a situation which was not conducive to going to meetings at night anymore. I was exhausted most of the time. I was grieving a long-term relationship and other elements in my life.
I don't remember when or why I discovered ITR. It was sometime at the end of 2011. I started attending meetings. There wasn't an NA group nor AA group at the time. Kenny was still chairing meetings and asked me to sub for the noon AA meeting on Saturdays. This meeting is still going on. I enjoyed it a lot and once the chair, who was chairing it at the time left, Kenny asked me to continue to chair that meeting.
I remember one time, I arrived at 11:55 to chair and Kenny was worried that I wouldn't show up. Since then, I could probably count on one hand how many times I have not arrived to chair a meeting after ten of the hour. LOL
Now back then, there was one huge AA group on ITR but no group like GSAA is now. Our group started to form and by March of 2012 we had our GSAA group. I was the first chair of the group and we had few meetings on the schedule. We quickly began filling up the schedule, getting chairs, having business meetings every two weeks, formed the trusted servants group, etc. etc. etc. Everyone brainstormed names for our new group. Joe came up with Global Steps and we loved it. We were a global AA group with live video meetings!
My program skyrocketed. I was attending meetings regularly again, doing service and in general I was in the middle of the bed' again. I have not left since then. There is a funny thing about our meetings here. There is a strange intimacy that happens in our meetings. We get to know one another really well. There are people who know me better on here than anyone who I have seen over the years in face to face meetings. For me, these meetings are just as good as face to face. I do not believe they are just as good for newcomers though. I had loads of experience in face to face before coming on here. Thus, I had a strong foundation.
Online meetings is a different venue, however, we come as close as possible to an person meeting. We work on hard sticking to the traditions, principles and the typical norms of AA. This leads us to a precarious situation i.e. how do we negotiate global norms and integrate these norms into one group? This has been one of the stumbling blocks for us. Someone will say, "Well, we do it this way," and another person will say, "No, that's not right we do it another way." I have done the same in the beginning. As time went on, I realized how important it was to the simple and the basic because everyone had a different way of doing things. Or, we needed to become more open to hearing and integrating different norms. It has been a delicate balance to say the least. We needed to become culturally proficient and culturally accepting and at the same time sticking to AA traditions and principles.
In 2013, I came up with the idea of having a women's group where any 12 step program would be accepted and supported. It became Soul Sisters. I do not take credit, however. I believe that this came through me as if a higher power whispered to me. I heard the whisper that is all. I do not remember how this idea came to me or when. All I know is that this group has four meetings now and over 2000 members now. It is important for women to have a safe place to talk about whatever they feel is important and not to be tied to any one tradition or program. This has worked and thrived. We have great chairs who are dependable, take these meetings seriously and are committed to helping women in recovery.
A few years ago, I met Kenny and RT here in Washington DC (among other members as well.) They treated us to dinner and to a comedy show about recovery. This was one of the highlights of my life as ITR has become so special to me. I completely and one hundred percent value not only this online site but Kenny and Rt as well. I consider them my spiritual Dads. I go to them for advice periodically and I listen carefully and take their advice. I have huge respect for them, ITR and our GSAA AA group. I would do anything for them because they have given me so much. I would do anything for GSAA because it has given me so much. And I would do anything for anyone in our group and my friends on here.
I have close friends, I have my sponsor on ITR, I have met many people from ITR and in general my program continues to remain in the forefront of my mind. I still do face to face of course and not only celebrate sober milestones on ITR but in person meetings as well.
In our GSAA group, we have had some minor problems with personality clasheswell, some have been major. Perhaps, this is due to this forum. Whatever, the reason is, the simple saying principles over personalities stays constant and is a valuable tool. I have earned my seat in AA, in recovery, in GSAA and in our women's meetings. I will not let anyone take my seat away as everyone has seat if they want recovery as bad as I do. All it takes is a little willingness, a dash of gratitude, a sprinkle of open-mindedness and a cup of honesty and you may have a seat at this beautiful table too!
Thank you so much for allowing me to share my experience, strength and hope.
Most Sincerely,
Diane T.
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